News, Turn 7

Mission Progress Report

Mission Progress, 1st January 2650 00:00:00 SHIP TIME

  • Earth time 14/01/2650 07:21:03 ZULU
  • Mission time elapsed 599 years, 20 days Ship relative
  • Current Acceleration: -0.00033191 m/s2
  • Velocity: 0.0193c Earth relative
  • Fuel: 46.0%
  • All systems are operating under revised expectations.

Flip Successful!

Thanks to the tireless efforts of the ACTP members, as well as the Engineering and Navigation departments, the legendary Inversion Point has occurred, and across the ship celebrations are breaking out to mark this historic event in the Asimov's journey.

During the seven days of the “flip”, citizens noticed odd shifts in the artificial gravity generated by the ship, with extended periods of low gravity and restricted access across the ship. Apparently these shifts were all normal and expected, and the plan for the Inversion went off almost entirely without a hitch. Unconfirmed rumours from the marshals suggest that Marcus Red was the hero of the day, fending off some Stanfordist saboteurs who tried to stop an engineering team from entering the core to carry out necessary duties. Navigators Francis Rainbow, Veta Stapel, and Varian White are said to have flown the entire ship manually during the flip period.

Other unconfirmed rumours (There's an awful lot of these. -Ed) suggest that some members of the navigation and engineering departments have gone missing since the flip, after being involved in some top-secret mission. Mission co-ordinator Victor White was unavailable for comment.

–TOROID! Magazine headline article

New Captain Campaigns

The entire ship is in a furor with the upcoming election for Captain after 'Annette de Bouillon' renounced their position, with the shortlisted candidates Mordecai White, Ellis de Bouillon, Timothy Rainbow Jr III, Valenthius Red, Lyla Red, Nemo Blue, Craig Rainbow, James Green, Evelyn Salamaris, Markus Red and Leon Green all competing fiercely. Particularly notable are the majority of the Engineering department enthusiastically 'voting' for Ellis - while the decision is made by Computer, it is thought to take popular opinion into account.

Publicity campaigns for and against Marcus Red grew heated, including a mob attacking him at one point, Lyla Red is promoted at the end of Samurai Vikings and gives speeches about a commitment to improving ship life, and Mordecai was said to have quietly suggested to other Department Heads that he or Marcus are likely the best candidates, later withdrawing in favour of a 'younger, more dynamic leader'. Craig Rainbow and Evelyn Salamaris also seem to have sent people out wandering the ship chatting with passersby, declaring how excellent they would be in the positions. Rumours of serious political forces moving behind the scenes abound, and conspiracy theories run wild.

The winning candidate will be announced during the next ACTP meeting.

New Head of Engineering

After Kalys Rainbow dramatically quit as head of Engineering in the last ACTP meeting, it seems that few heeded his warning of “Don't bother, it's all a farce!”

Candidates standing were Victor White, Carl Grey-Wrench and Ellis de Bouillon. Opinions were split amongst the Engineering staff, but Computer did not take long in its deliberations to declare Ellis de Bouillon as the new head of Engineering. Hopefully he will be able to keep the department united, as the BOB-herders have expressed concerns about being marginalised.

Epic Rainbow Party

Parties in Rainbow Sector are not exactly an unusual occurance – there are those who cynically suggest that *not* having a party is more of an occasion – but the recent Launchday festivities put others to shame. Arranged by Morning and Jake Rainbow, hosted by Craig Rainbow and attended by seemingly half the ship, the celebration continued well into the night and most of the next day as well, tables groaning with luxury foods, bands in every corridor playing music to every taste, roaming bands of decoraters painting bright and beautiful murals where decontamination had caused walls to be sterilised and left blank. Hangovers have left many unable to work when the party finally ended, but everyone unanimously agrees that it was worth it.

Samurai Vikings - Season Finale!

From the mouth of Number One Fan Sally White (fifteen): The Samurai Vikings Launchday Season Finale this month was totally worth the wait. So you remember Ronald, the dude who spaced himself a few episodes ago? Well his estranged ex-wife turns up, played by whatsername Logan - Colleen from Whitesiders! And she's really badass with this big round shield, and much better than when she's being all soppy and boring, and is pissed at Chad and Hades for him being dead because apparently she still loved him, but then they end up all being cool with each other. And it's Launchday so there's ritual celebrations and making up with Piers Red's character, and all having an awesome time when suddenly a bunch of lizards with their mystical cat-people allies burst in and kidnap Dog, just when Chad and Hades looked like they were actually going to kiss for the first time! So it seems the reason they're after him is because there's this ancient prophecy that says Dog is to be the Lizardking, and then they'll unleash Demon Valhalla on the world, and poor Dog doesn't know what's going on at all. Ended on a right cliffhanger, with them still having Dog and looking ready to start doing their evil rituals, so I can't wait to see what happens next! There were a bunch of adverts in the middle for Lyla Red as Captain, and some interesting new gambling den in Blackout called Acheron? Want to go check it out?

Whitesiders Relaunched

Whitesiders has apparently decided it needs to shake things up to compete with the runaway success of Samurai Vikings, and the old show is gone. Instead, the characters are in our homes every day at dinner time for a fifteen minute audio-only show; the emphasis is as usual on inter-character relationships and drama. While some fans have taken to it immediately, the majority seem slightly confused but willing to give it a go. Only time will tell if this new format is to be a true success!

Majesty of the Asimov 2

The sequel to the Majesty of the Asimov is released to great praise. Vistas previously seen only be a very few privileged ACTP members are now shared amongst the entirety of the population; the tangled forest of Toroid 3 stretching almost to the core, the eery dark ocean of Toroid 5 with its strange fish. While the camera work isn't up to the usual standard, the breathtaking scope and unusualness of the images more than makes up for it, interspersed with shots of the simulated ship mid-flip. The general populace seems extremely jealous of the opportunities awarded to ACTP members, though the high injury rate does serve to soothe when pointed out.

Mysterious Flyers

Mysterious flyers have been showing up declaring that old people are valuable assets and should not be recycled at 65. Their source is unknown, but they appear to have ended up across Toroids 1 and 2.

The flyers highlight in particular the ideas of living a long natural life with dignity, and rails against the normal arguments supporting recycling by disputing the carrying capacity of the ship and the need to have such high birth rates.

NGF Allstars

Vid-screens around the ship have been buzzing with build-up to the NGF Allstars game which has been organised by Wheatley 'The Crusher' Red. The Crusher has been running training workshops for the players, which have proven a challenge for the non-professionals. Still, the celebrities gamely joined in with the brutal regime, and the evening of the game finally arrived. Here are some highlights:

Crusher introduces the game: “Ladies, nerds and gents, welcome to NGF ALLSTARS!! So many people agreed to play in our friendly match — especially after I encouraged them! YEEEAAAH!! Let's give a big hand to our captains: Craig Rainbow and Hades Black! We're going to select the teams now, entirely randomly!”

Small balls are marked with a number and placed into a drum and drawn out by the captains in turn. They announce the number and Crusher checks it against a data slate he is carrying and informs them of their selection.

Hades' squad includes: Posi Rainbow, Piers Red, Anarr Violet, Nikki Rainbow, Berry Green, Thursday White and Buzzcut Blue. Craig's squad includes Chad Green, Indium Blue, Carl Grey-Wrench, Kalys Rainbow, Jan Viteri, Mitty Red and Nick.

“As our teams talk tactics and get warmed up, I will pass you over to my good buddies Morning Rainbow and Computer in the commentary box, and I'll practice blowing my referee whistle!”

“Thank you Crusher; it's great to be here for this fantastic occasion!” continues Morning. “Not only do we have some wonderful NGF players today, but also a lot of your favourite celebrities have given up their time for this extravaganza! And for all you Mei Mei fans, have we got a half-time treat for you! Now let me introduce our friend with all the stats, it's… Computer!”

“Thank you Morning. From the NGF league we have the likes of Jan Viteri and Chad Green; there are also people who used to play in the youth league, namely Kalys and Craig Rainbow, who were contempories in the Engineering youth team.”

Computer continues to list statistics about the players, and Morning gets the crowd warmed up as the players do the same.

With everything set up and ready, the Crusher instructs Hades and Craig to shake hands and starts the match. Play begins slowly, the less experienced players getting a feel for the null grav pitch and the pro players warming up with basic plays. Within the first 15 minutes the play really kicks off. Hades' team of tough players taking on an aggressive style and Craig's team of veterans going for more reliable but smooth looking plays. It's not long of course until off-pitch rivalries start to catch up and the play gets flashy and brutal. The referee ignores minor incidents, preferring to keep play flowing. A few warnings are barked but nobody is sin binned until a particularly hard tackle from Thursday causes a minor injury to Jan Viteri, and the Crusher sends her off for 5 minutes. Tempers flare at one point when Indium seems to forget which team she's on and catches Craig Rainbow in a rather vicious tackle. After profusely apologising, play continues as Crusher explains to Craig that tackling your own player is not a foul! Morning and Computer speculate and comment on plays and potential clashes as the first half draws to a close, with the score a rather damp 1-all.

The half-time show is introduced by the Crusher, and a troupe of attractive dancers somersalt into the pitch, led by Mei Mei White. Coloured spotlights pick out the dancers as they start an energetic acrobatic display to pop music. Their specially tailored NGF-like uniforms leave little to the imagination!

“What a wonderful display of athleticism!” continues Morning, “And now back to the more brutal ballet that is NGF!”

The Crusher starts the second half of the game. Plays in this half are considerably more aggressive with dodgy tackles coming in from both sides. The Crusher lets the bad tackles slide when there's no obvious injury, the game clearly not looking rough to him. However, he is forced to take action after a succession of bad tackles between the two captains, and he sin bins both Hades and Craig.

“Most refs would have resorted to using the tazer on Hades there, but such is the Crusher's might that he's simply tossed him into the sin bin! But what's this?! With players crowding round the ref complaining, Carl Grey-Wrench has made a cutting move on goal, and yes! Chad has spotted him — here comes the pass. The goal is wide open! And it's there!! Two-one to Craig's team!”

“Both captains have missed the goal but here they come back onto the pitch. Did Craig have that black eye when he went in? Perhaps this friendly isn't so friendly!”

Play continues in a similar vein until Berry Green performs a violent clothesline tackle on Nick. She flies screaming at him, and knocks him into the edge of the goal mouth with a sickening crunch. The Crusher stops play — a rare occurance — and it is clear from the angle of Nick's head that he has a broken neck.

“Oh my. That… that looks very serious,” Morning says in hushed tones. “Here comes the pitch-side medic but yes… it seems there is little she can do. It would seem we have witnessed the first death on the NGF pitch since… er…”

Computer interjects ”'Mad' Abercrombie Red 60 years ago.”

“Most of the players seem dazed but fortunately Recycling's finest, Piers Red, has taken charge of the situation in a very professional fashion. He is speaking to the Crusher, and yes, the Crusher has just confirmed in my earpiece that Piers will accompany the cadaver to the Recycling department, thus allowing the game to continue with one fewer player on each side. What a chivalrous gesture. The Crusher is speaking with the captains, and it seems that with 5 minutes left on the clock, it's game on!”

The game continues in a subdued fashion with no further incident.

Sport Report

Results League table Points
Game 11 Green 2 3 Engineering Engineering 33
Rainbow 3 0 Health Green 28
Recycling 1 0 White Harmony 28
Navigation 2 0 Blue Red 27
Harmony 2 2 Red Recycling 13
Game 12 Red 4 1 Recycling White 10
Harmony 5 2 Navigation Navigation 10
Engineering 5 4 Health Rainbow 9
Blue 2 2 Rainbow Health 7
White 1 2 Green Blue 6
Game 13 Rainbow Recycling
Health Harmony
Green Navigation
Engineering White
Red Blue
Game 14 Blue Engineering
Harmony Rainbow
Red Navigation
Recycling Green
White Health

“Well, Ray, that was a turn-up for the books, wasn’t it?”

“Certainly was, Sam. A hell of a month.”

“I’m not sure what Darwin Blue was doing, though. Do you know, Ray?”

“Seemed like he had some new sort of boots, Sam. Fancy new boots. I’m not convinced he had all the kinks ironed out of them, though—just once or twice he seemed to head in the the wrong direction. I dare say if he has time we’ll see the shiniest of Mk IIs, though, and maybe the rest of the Engineering team with the upgrades, too!”

“Engineering still won, Ray, though former star Anarr seemed rather tentative.”

“That’s true, Sam. Thought Indium Blue is definitely starting to find her feet.

“They’re on the end of her legs, Ray.”

“Ha ha, Sam. Ha ha.”

“And Rainbow, Recycling and Navigation all won to nil, eh, Ray?”

“They certainly did, Sam. The shock was in the Red game.”

“The Crusher didn’t seem to crush very much, did he, Ray? Maybe he was still affected by his illness last month?”

“I don’t know, Sam. He seemed energetic enough in the All-Stars game. Maybe he was just plumb tuckered out. Whatever it was, though they kept it to a draw, Harmony didn’t quite seem to find their collective feet.”

“They’re on—“

“Don’t say it, Sam.”


“Well, Ray, how ‘bout the second half of the fixtures, eh? Despite that new goalie being elsewhere, Red crushed Recycling, 4-1.”

“Speaking of Crushing, Crusher appeared to have his mojo back. He, Buzzcut, and that Thursday gal—what a team! Shame that little Berry couldn’t play after the All-Stars hoo-hah. Tell you what, I don’t know what scares me most—the sheer brutality of Crusher and Buzzcut or the silent violence of that there Thursday. I’m surprised Navigation got the 2 goals they got. Mind you, Harmony got what—two and a half times that, Sam?”

“That’s some pretty fancy maths there for a Recycler, Sam.”

“Thank you, Ray. The wonder is only Buzzcut spent time in the Sin Bin.”

“I think the other two have got smoother moves, Sam. Or know when the ref is looking the other way.”

“Let’s not go there, Sam. What about Health giving Navigation a scare? Darwin seemed to have ironed out his boots—“

“As it were.”

“—as it were, Sam. But they only just pipped Health in the end, 5-4. Maybe a team to look out for, though they’ve left it mighty late in the season to make a move. Was that a Viteri who had joined the team? ”

“I don’t know, Ray. Blue had a bit of a resurgence—drew with Rainbow.”

“But they’re mighty boring to watch with their main striker transferring to Harmony, Sam.”

“Ray, you’re right. But after the brutality of the Red and Harmony games it was a pleasure to watch the clean and classic style of Chad Green and his team as they defeated White.”

“It sure was, Sam. What say we go get a refreshing stimulating drink, and reconvene next month?”

“I look forward to that, Sam.”

“Me, too, Ray.”


  • Piers Red, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively gotta kill everyone in the room, accept no substitutes.
  • I heard a team got trapped in Toroid 6
  • There is a giant tentacle monster in Toroid 5
  • Their beady unblinking eyes watching us. Everywhere.
  • Oh, man! I have to wait all month before I find out what happens in Samurai Vikings!
  • Graffiti: Tick tock goes the clock… they won't remember Eva… tick tock goes the clock… 'till madness hits Computer…
  • So, are the sensors pointing forwards now? What's in front of the ship?
  • Apparently there are people living in Toroid 6!
  • It's really not as complicated as people seem to think, just don't go to places with plague.
  • What is this Toroid 6 rubbish people keep talking about? There's obviously no such thing.
  • If this is all an experiment, I wonder if Toroid 6 is where the experimenters live
  • Remember to tell Computer you support Lyla Red for captain!
  • The lizards. They are breeding. Breeding everywhere.
  • The All-Stars game was rigged in order to make Crusher more money on side bets. I heard he'd placed three year's fabber rations on someone getting killed.
  • Computer has obscured the truth, and will bring the ship to ruin.
  • I heard there's going to be a Blackout NGF Team…
  • Computer doesn't trust us
  • The ACTP members produce a disproportionate quantity of rumours. What are they trying to do?
  • Someone's been spreading plagues on purpose…
  • It's about time humans had a say in their destiny.
  • A lizard can consume its own body weight in food every day.
  • Mordecai White turned down a chance to play goalkeeper professionally for White team in his youth.
  • Computer is not our friend
  • The first rule is you do not talk about it
  • Has anyone found that treasure yet? I'm starting to wonder whether I made it up myself. But if it does exist, it's mine, dammit!
  • You do not ask questions
  • No one comes back from 6 the same do not trust them, burn them
  • Acheron — One Hell of a Time!
turn_7.txt · Last modified: 2013/01/15 14:08 by gm_jonathan
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